I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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