I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
