I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She announced her abortion via fbk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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