A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
