Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
