I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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