Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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