I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I party with great urgency now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
