sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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