Dual....:-)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
