super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
