the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
