So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
