Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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