What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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