Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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