Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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