So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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