wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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