GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
