It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
