Plan B is the new Plan A
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Let's get the cat blown out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
