i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
