so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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