too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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