So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
