When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
