I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
