it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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