Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
