this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
