just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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