I love black thongs
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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