Umm I'm too high to move.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
