need another drink. this is the easiest way
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
