Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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