i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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