the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
