His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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