I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
