I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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