The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my poor anus
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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