He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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