I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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