i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
