Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
