I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
