I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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