im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
