Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
