her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize