I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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