Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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