At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
