it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
